Secret Identity.
I’m an amazing drunk, but rather average when I’m sober.
For it is only the warming hold of alcohol that makes me feel so bold.
From timid to terrific in a few spirited gulps of secret fuel.
Then, I become strong - able to silence rooms with strange discourse
and amazing tricks with cocktail sticks.
Incredible! Such … courage, such bravery -
all poured from a bottle of ferment.
From start to closing time I’m always first
to fall over on the finish line.
Superpowered - that’s me!
Able to trip kerbstones in a single bound —
‘Look, down in the gutter,’ ‘Is it a rat?’ ‘Is it a drain?’
‘No! it’s … Superdrunk!’ ”
Hell, I can even talk out of my arse
sometimes.