I killed Santa
and then I broke
your heart.
I couldn’t lie.
I thought you knew.
This was the day
he died.
I told you,
he was a dream
to gently wake -
I whispered this
was part
of growing
up.
Yet still
the tears rolled
and you sobbed
and you cried again,
not foolish at all -
forever like,
a child.
Back from your adventure.
There you are. Stretching on the sofa.
Did the rain bother you?
We wondered if you’d sheltered -
you’d never seen such weather.
And we worried and we hoped,
and we tried not to wonder.
Had you ventured very far?
“I’m hearing wails”
(said our neighbour)
“… can you hear them too?”
Oh, how we ran to put on shoes,
hoping it would be
you.
Every day I kick myself.
Is this laughter really mine?
Loud like bad played notes
on a cheap plastic horn.
But I am so proud.
And the stories they tell,
and the pictures they show -
ah, such wonder!
How did this occur?
There is no weariness now.
Suddenly I am, Superman -
jumping and giggling into life,
clamouring too with love.
When
you were born
I didn’t cry.
I was struck dumb -
could not describe
the feelings felt
for you.
Immediate,
like electricity
running through
my restless back
and flooding in
my empty head,
my vacuum heart.
Something,
switching on
deep inside
and bewitching
with delight,
and sparks
of life -
lightening
my soul.
But not,
like raptured
passion’s flame
or glowing ember’s
warm embrace,
nor kinship
of years
or kindly smiles
from journeys
shared.
No,
this feeling …
It was Instant.
It was Persistent.
It was Beautiful.
And I’ll never forget,
and I cannot escape,
and still cannot describe
beyond mere love
and loving
you.
May whatever you do, be better than what you’ve done,
Reclaimed from hard-drudged hours, like distilled time.
Where dreams are hoist with steadfast will and laughter peels
Against the hollow cry of pitied fate that follows all but you.
May you dare to run with winds, then leap the shadowed ground
To whisper calls at stirring night, not feared of worried days.
And you, who triumphs in the light will be joyous in the dew
Beguiled and surprised to tell of truths, to likes of you and I.
May you always stay temperate in the sluice of unkind rains,
Bite parched tongues that rise to taste the bracken pall,
Find blue opals in the darkest well of circumstance,
And stretching, go beyond our normal mortal reach.
And long may you embrace all things that you will learn
And speak of such to those you know, and don’t.
May your breath be strong and full, and your songs be sung
And leave a smile in mind for those you aim to teach.
Oh may you hear amongst the shouts, the murmuring of souls -
Seek wonders found in chance and call of happenstance,
And understand the understandings you shall heed
And then, may you recall these wishes left by me.
You had a glow about you
amongst the harvest souls.
Pin sharpened in the blur,
like a gilded lion you spoke to me.
Smiling, serene and standing proud -
the one to notice in the crowd.
No need to seek you out -
you had a glow about you.
And I heard (but did not hear)
and I saw (but did not see)
and then I knew.
You, are
mine.
We are your aches and pain -
indenture you must bear.
On kind shoulders
column strong - with prideful grace
for hold of acrobats.
Not dare we tell of minds,
in awe of patient kind
that is your way.
Forgetting belligerence,
regretting not the binds -
you guardian sleep the world,
raising sun and moon as we desire,
tucking in the day.
Bananas
and onions
that’s all
he wants to eat.
Oh! This little boy
will be the death of me.
He rides his bike
without his helmet on,
and wails when I defy his will -
makes me feel that I am wrong,
when his trousers
are too loose and itch
his thrashing legs
that kick me in the jaw.
‘Lighten up’ I think when he
tightens up his noose on me,
this bedtime story heckler,
this seasoned pre-school shirk
up against a punch drunk fool
waiting to hear the bell.
And one of us will go to hell
but I’m sure it won’t be him.
It’s when he smiles you see -
he’s an angel, who hides
his wings.